The nicest Gremlin you could ever meet!

Hooray, I'm here and I can post again! I was experiencing technical difficulties. It happens a lot. My S.O. is a computer engineer and refers to me as his favorite gremlin. He's fascinated at my ability to mess up electronics with a touch.

I once had a coworker whose computer had gone black. Several people tried to fix it. I strolled up and said, "Because I like you, I'll help you out." I literally put one single finger on the top of the monitor and it came back to life, with five people as my witnesses that's all I did was touch it. It didn't have any problems after that. (Honestly, I was only joking. I was secretly as surprised as everyone else that it actually worked!) I tried to transfer over to the IT department at one point for a better paying job, because I was already doing the work of our department assigned IT guy's job anyways. He'd even call me from other departments asking for help!

The problem is, I learn by doing and I don't always know how to articulate why or how I know what I know. It makes it hard to fill out higher level job applications as you can imagine. At any rate, this IT guy brings his girlfriend in to meet me. He weirdly wanders off and her and I talk for a short time. They're planning to move to California. "Oh, okay, great. That should be nice." (Can I have his job?)

IT guy comes back and they move halfway down the hall have a quick chat and then come back to me with big smiles on their faces. What's this about then? They want me to be their girlfriend, both of them! This is the first time I learn what a "Unicorn" is. That special third person that appeals to a couple that want to share their relationship with a third person. Before I married,  I had two additional requests to be a second wife or girlfriend. I really don't know what kind of energy I used to give off that would make people think I wanted to be in a throuple. I'm an introvert, having to manage more than one intimate partnership sounds like a lot of work.

If I'd met only her and she had asked me out on a date I probably would have said yes, but not him. I didn't respect him, I didn't find him attractive and I had no interest in being around him. I'm not really sure why a lovely person like her was with him. So I joked that she should stay here with me and he can move to California by himself. Ha,ha,ha.

He was not amused. So not amused that the prick went back to the IT department and squealed about all the times I'd hacked the system whenever someone in our department died or left or whatever and didn't give us access to their passwords. IT would have us waiting days for their benevolent presence to help us out, but hacking passwords isn't about hacking computer logs or roots, its about hacking people. Sitting at their desk and looking around and guessing what their password could be. I get three tries and boom! I always got it on the first or second time. All I have to do is sit and dwell in their space for a short time.

I received two formal reprimands. To prevent further "issues" with the almighty IT department I was reassigned to a different part of the department where I could cause less trouble. Literally, sent to the basement and suddenly I'm this guy from Office Space: 

   

It wasn't all bad. I wasn't alone down there. In fact, all the coolest people in the department worked down there! We'd all stepped on someone's toes and gotten banished, but we made the best of it and became a tight group of coworkers and friends.